This is 30

Yesterday, I celebrated a milestone birthday. I turned 30 years old!

Surprisingly enough, I felt zero stress about this new birthday. I always thought that this would be a tough one for me, that I would feel like I’m getting old. I’m happy to report, I was anything but unhappy with entering my 30s.

I’m Feeling 22

For whatever reason, the year I turned 22, I kind of freaked out! I was in college at the time and I guess I just felt like I was getting old! I mean, turning 21 is a huge deal. But after that, where’s the excitement?

I remember dreading turning this age. I felt nothing like T. Swift did in her song (although, that particular track wasn’t out yet).

Looking back, I realize how completely silly it was for me to be so worried about this birthday.

The Dread of my 29th Year

This section may get a little dark, so feel free to skip past it, I promise I won’t be offended! 

Let me give you a little back story: both of my parents lost a close family member to them while growing up. My mom’s older brother died in a car crash at 17. My dad’s mother died of cancer at 29.

When I was growing up, I somehow had this strange “feeling” that maybe the same thing would happen to me. This thought has been in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember.

Let me explain why: my mom’s brother was the oldest of four. I am the oldest of four. My dad’s mom – I was named after her. I felt a connection with these deceased relatives that I’d never met.

So, ages 17 & 29 always stuck out a little strange to me.

My 17th year came and went and nothing happened!

Then the idea of 29 loomed over me. I always wondered. And on my 29th birthday, the thought crossed my mind that maybe this is the last birthday. Maybe I won’t make it to 30.

I have a feeling that my grandmother was looking down on me this year. Now, I don’t know that I entirely believe in this kind of thing, but I think it might be possible.

Last year, as you may know, I became pregnant. The fact that I became pregnant was a miracle in itself. First of all, my boyfriend and I used protection. I was on the pill. Also, I’d had thoughts in the past wondering if it was even possible for me to get pregnant considering my careless promiscuity in college.

But, despite all of that, I had a little baby growing inside of me.

Part of me wonders if this baby was a gift from her, a little reminder that everything was going to be okay. I know that the reason my 29th year was the way it was is because I was carrying my first-born child.

Different Circumstances

Part of the reason I think I’m handling turning 30 so well is because I have a really great life! I have a loving fiancé that I get to say “I do” to this year. I have a beautiful baby boy that makes me happier than I’ve ever known. I have a job in the field I worked hard studying in college and it’s one that I love.

I entered my 30s in a great way!

I have a feeling that if I didn’t have these things, I might have felt differently. For the first time in a long time, I actually know what lies ahead in my life. There isn’t a question mark anymore. I’m not asking myself: Will I ever find the right guy? Will I ever get married and have children? Will I ever find a job that I love?

A Great Transition

My 30s are starting off with quite a bang! It’s almost like the perfect transition into true adulthood. I’m a mom. I’m going to become a wife. My fiancé and I will be buying a new house (a first for me). It all seems to be wrapping itself into a neat little bow.

Sure, nothing is perfect and I won’t pretend that it is. We certainly contend with our share of stress.

But overall, there’s so much more to be happy about. I’m incredibly content with my life and I’m so eager to how everything comes together.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s