If you didn’t know it already, I’m becoming a mom for the first time this year! I am so incredibly excited & I cannot wait for this new adventure. But, with this new adventure comes a lot of firsts for me. It has me wondering whether I’m overreacting or if there even is such a thing.
My Independent Personality
I have always been a fairly independent person. As soon as I graduated from college, I moved out on my own. That was over 5 years ago now. I’ve done pretty well being independent. I can make it on my own and I’m pretty damn proud of that!
I hate asking for help. I don’t know how long I’ve hated it, but I do. I feel confident enough in myself to be able to handle things on my own. And, aside from that, I want to be able to handle it on my own! There’s no feeling more gratifying than knowing that I can do anything.
The Unsolicited Mom Advice
This is such a hot topic. In part, my opinion does have a lot to do with my independent personality. But, I know there are other women out there that maybe don’t feel as independent as I do (and that’s totes okay) and they hate this unsolicited advice as well.
Now, I get that I’m a first-time mom and I know that people are only trying to help. But, did I ask? No. Frankly, no two women are the same. And, for that matter, no two pregnancies are the same! So while it’s nice to want to help, it can actually make people feel a little annoyed to offer assistance without fully understanding the other person.
I know there will be times when I want to ask for advice, but that’s on my terms. I don’t need someone else telling me what I should or shouldn’t be doing or what I should or shouldn’t get for my baby. I got this… so far.
This Is My First Pregnancy
It’s my first pregnancy and this is such an exciting time for me! There are so many firsts that I get to experience and I want to revel in all of them. I want to have these moments and these memories. I want to make these decisions. So, why do other people think it’s okay to make them for me?
Again, I know that people are only trying to help, but are they thinking it through when they do it?
Here’s an example:
I was talking to my mom & sister on FaceTime one night, just talking about some baby shower things. The subject of my baby’s coming home outfit was brought up. I already have something in mind and I sent a pic to my sister to show it to her. Anyway, my mom made a comment about how someone might get a coming home outfit for me at my shower. I was a little harsh about it and I said that I doubt I would use it. They looked a bit taken aback. I said that unless it’s the exact one I wanted, then I wouldn’t use it.
I felt a little bit like a “momzilla” after I said it, but the more I thought about it, the more annoyed I felt. This is my baby. I have every right to decide what his coming home outfit is. This is a big moment! It’ll likely be his first picture as a fully clothed baby. This is special to me and I want it to be exactly what we want.
So… Am I Being Selfish?
Honestly, I wouldn’t call this being selfish. It might come off as that to other people. But, at the end of the day, this is a special event for my fiance and I. This is our baby and we have certain wants for him and for this experience. We shouldn’t have to compromise to please others. That’s not what we’re about.
I want to hear from you!
What has been your experience in becoming a mother (or a father)? Are you like me and have an independent personality? Or do you just want to have a say and want others to respect you for it? Please share with me!